Drawing a Blank

How strange it was this morning to look at my calendar and realize it had nothing on it. No appointments, no meetings, no planned phone calls. Nothing. There are no items on my To-Do list that are overdue, or that I need to catch up with. No one is using the church hall, so it's quiet in my office. Even the construction workers remodeling our education wing didn't show up today.

I can do anything I want to! I can study in preparation for Sunday's sermon, or write the prayers for the afternoon service. I can curl up on the couch in my office and read something from that stack of books waiting for my attention on The Pastor's Bookshelf (posted below). I can call people I really want to talk to but never seem to have time to call. I can blog or twitter or update the church website. I can write some "thinking of you" cards. My day is a tabula rasa, with so many possibilities.

So why did I spend over an hour drawing a blank? I just couldn't decide what to do first. I couldn't decide whether to do what is "most important" or what would bring joy to my heart. Then it came to me that while I really would like to do something that brings joy to my heart I always feel that I am not being "productive" unless I do something that is more easily quantifiable. You know, the kind of thing that sounds like "work" when people ask what I did today.

The fact that I writing this means I have opted for doing the joy-bringing creative things that I usually put off until all the other things are accomplished. Maybe later I'll do something "constructive" but for now I'll spend some time feeding my soul with study, contemplation and writing.