Every Time I Feel the Spirit

Romans 8:18-27
18I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. 19For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; 20for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; 23and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? 25But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
26Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. 27And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.




Pentecost is my favorite church holiday. It’s the day when the church was really born – the day that 120 disciples were given the ability to speak the good news so that everyone could understand. It is also the anniversary of my first sermon as your pastor. I had spent two weeks carefully crafting a sermon, agonizing over every word. But when I woke up on the morning of Pentecost 2003 I realized that what I really needed to do was throw that sermon away and speak of my hopes for our future together. Every Pentecost since then I’ve had the same experience. I have something prepared and I wake up with something entirely different in my heart – usually something that doesn’t lend itself well to being written into a manuscript. I wonder sometimes why I even go through the motions of writing for this Sunday, when I believe that whatever I write will end up in the trash on the day. Chances are excellent that what is written here is not what will end up being preached.

On Pentecost the Holy Spirit came upon the disciples for the first time, opening their hearts and minds, moving and working in them, leading them to do things they’d never considered before. They’d had to wait for 40 days after Jesus ascended into heaven, and they weren’t sure how long they would have to wait or even exactly what they were waiting for. As we all know, people just don’t wait very well. We’re not all that good at being patient and living in the moment. We’re always looking forward to the next thing that’s supposed to happen and anxious for it to get here. If we’re doing something new we want to see results right away, and are disappointed if nothing seems to change when we’ve only been doing the new thing a short time.

According to this portion of the letter Paul wrote to the church in Rome about 25 years later, the entirety of creation was eagerly waiting for change to come. All of the world was groaning in labor pains, heavy with anticipation for the day when everyone and everything will be free from the bondage of our past and ushered into a new way of being in Christ. It had become clear to him that Christ was not returning immediately as they had all believed, and that everyone and everything was going to have to wait for that time to come. And so he spoke of the difficulty of waiting for change to happen, when the change was something as eagerly anticipated as the transformation of the entire world into God’s kingdom on earth. Almost 2,000 years later, we’re still waiting.

On Thursday evening twenty-some church leaders, teachers and theologians from a dozen or so different denominations were gathered at the Claremont School of Theology to discuss Contemporary Theology for Social Action in Churches Today. The audience asked a number of tough questions which the forum participants then addressed.

There were a few things they said that really struck me. Sort of examples of what the Kingdom looks like when it is being lived. One spoke about Incarnational Compassion – not a feeling but action. Compassion that is embodied and acted upon person to person. For example, the Anglicans in Palestine operate schools and hospitals open to all, regardless of religion, culture, language – if someone has a need, they will be served. Another reminded us that we are all related through Jesus Christ. We don’t have to like each other in order to work together as was proven by the many who showed up to help in aftermath of Katrina and every natural disaster. And yet another said that, since we can all work together to serve God’s children in times of crisis then we can work together always. One even quoted Rodney King, asking plaintively, “Can’t we all just get along?”
Another reminded us that laws do not equal justice. True justice is always a result of love.

One challenged us to do ministry in places we do not want to go. She was talking specifically about prison and military chaplaincy, but we each have a place we don’t want to go. What would it mean to us to do ministry in that place?

They spoke about new ways of being church, and of doing church. Ways to reach those who somehow are not drawn to our churches, but want to be. They talked about technology and education and ways of being Christians in a world that seems not to care about other people or the environment, a world that puts laws before justice.

It seems to me that this is the same kind of world Jesus did his ministry in, the same kind of world the disciples preached to, and the same kind of world Paul traveled through and warned the new churches against. And that world is still waiting, groaning in labor pains, for the change that is to come – what ever form that change is going to take. We have hope for the future even though we have no idea what that future is going to look like. We do know that the world will not change, justice will not prevail, because laws are passed, or because the rationale and logic for making change is inescapable. The world can only change as hearts are changed through faith, and that is the work of the Spirit. So we wait, and we pray, and we carry the Good News. We teach about the justice that love brings. We speak of God’s purpose in the world, which is always shalom, peace and care for each other. And we try to act always with love and care, so that we can help make those changes that bring God’s glory into the world.

God is waiting, as patiently as only God can wait, for each of us to hear the words, “Behold, I am about to do a new thing . . . . through you.” God is waiting for each one of us to become open to the Spirit so that we can learn what new thing God is going to do through us. The Spirit shows up at unexpected times and moves us in unexpected ways, and it is up to us to listen for what she has to say, whether those words come as a still small voice or a shout. Let us seek and find the quiet center of our selves that we might hear the Spirit of God telling us about the new thing that God will do . . . through us.

Social Networking – a New Thing?

(This post is my article from the June issue of our church newsletter.)

There is a lot of buzz about the internet phenomenon known as social networking. People with common interests get together on Facebook, My Space, Twitter, etc. to carry on conversations, voice opinions, show off photos, share recipes and do pretty much everything else you do with friends. I’ve heard of long lost friends and family members finding each other on these sites. In fact, a seminary friend I’d lost track of found my blog the other day. (blog: an electronic journal I’m willing to share with the rest of the universe.) I learned how the recent earthquakes affected my friends on Twitter. The biggest difference between these internet friends and my other friends is that I might never meet some of these new friends in person. One of the questions people are asking is “Does our obsession with on-line friendships keep us from forming and/or maintaining close relationships with ‘real’ people?”

When I thought about this question I realized the only thing that makes today’s social networking unique is that it is done electronically. People have been forming long distance friendships, sight unseen, ever since writing was invented.

Paul never met a lot of the people he wrote letters to and yet he considered them beloved friends and family. He spent much of his time concerning himself with them and what they were doing, even though he wouldn’t recognize them if he fell over them in the marketplace. Paul was the “webmaster” of a social network that linked the mostly Gentile church with the church in Jerusalem, with Jesus as the link that brought all these friends together. This first century social network consisting of his letters and the Gospels continue to bring Jesus to life so that we may make and maintain a close relationship with Christ, with God, and with the many friends we gain as members of the Body of Christ– even the ones we’ll never meet.

Inequality Wins

I am so frustrated at the decision the California supreme court handed down. On the one hand, the 18,000 couples who were married in that brief period of time between the last court decision and election day are still married. That's good. I just keep seeing joy on the faces of Linda and Lucina when I pronounced that they were married after over 20 years together and multiplying that 18,000 times.

On the other hand, the court decided to uphold injustice and inequality for some. This is so wrong. I am angry and determined to continue to fight for equal rights (and rites) for all Americans.

There are some ministers who have decided to protest this decision by refusing to sign marriage licenses. They will continue to celebrate the service of Christian Matrimony for all who come - gay or straight - but will advise all brides and grooms that they must have the license signed by an official of the county in which they are being married until such time as all persons may be legally married. After much prayerful consideration, I have decided to do the same.

It is important to me that I keep praying for everyone involved, that God's love might invade every heart.

In the Interim Acts 1:15-17, 21-26

15In those days Peter stood up among the believers (together the crowd numbered about one hundred twenty persons) and said, 16“Friends, the scripture had to be fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit through David foretold concerning Judas, who became a guide for those who arrested Jesus— 17for he was numbered among us and was allotted his share in this ministry.”

21So one of the men who have accompanied us during all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, 22beginning from the baptism of John until the day when he was taken up from us—one of these must become a witness with us to his resurrection.” 23So they proposed two, Joseph called Barsabbas, who was also known as Justus, and Matthias. 24Then they prayed and said, “Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which one of these two you have chosen 25to take the place in this ministry and apostleship from which Judas turned aside to go to his own place.” 26And they cast lots for them, and the lot fell on Matthias; and he was added to the eleven apostles.

It’s a kind of strange time for Jesus’ disciples. Just a few days ago Jesus ended their 40 days of instruction, told them to go to Jerusalem to wait for the one who would baptize them with fire, and ascended into the clouds. So here they are, 120 of them, waiting. They don’t know how long it will be until the Advocate comes or even really what that means. They’re in a kind of waiting time, like those few days between the end of classes and actually receiving your diploma, or between getting hired and the first real day of work. It’s an uncomfortable time, and since humans really don’t like to wait, we tend to try to fill that time with some constructive action. So while they were waiting, they felt it was important to use this in-between time to get as ready as possible for whatever was to come and part of that preparation was to bring the number of apostles back up to the number Jesus originally selected.

And Peter stands up and says, hey, you know there are only 11 of us apostles right now, and there are supposed to be twelve. So let’s pick someone to replace Judas in the leadership. The only real qualifications for the job was that the person had been one of the followers of Jesus from the beginning, “from the baptism of John.” I found that beginning point a little odd, as none of them began following Jesus quite that early. Remember he went out into the desert for forty days before he began teaching and healing. But I guess that was the simplest way to name when the ministry began. They would all have understood what Peter meant.

So two were named as potential apostles; Matthias and Joseph called Barsabbas, who was also known as Justus, and the selection process began. When we select leaders we automatically think in terms of democracy and we vote. A committee selects the people who they believe are best qualified, and we usually choose our leaders from among their recommendations. Of course we are quite aware that our votes can be swayed by a number of things – gossip and spin, personal likes and dislikes based in the way they look or speak. We like to think that doesn’t happen when we are selecting church leaders, and in reality we usually only have to ratify the suggestions of the nominating committee for church leaders. But the possibility of human ego, prejudice, popularity and politics getting involved in any kind of nomination and election process is pretty high.

Of course Judah was not a democracy. It was a theocracy. God was at the head of the government. They didn’t even think of voting in a situation this important. Rather, they chose the twelfth apostle by lot, which was a lot like throwing dice. Although casting lots sounds very chancy to us, it was the approved way of letting God make the final decision. It was the way Joshua figured out which of his soldiers had disobeyed the instructions not to keep anything of the Canaanites. It was the way Saul was chosen as the first king of Israel. It was even the way the soldiers at the cross decided who should got which of Jesus’ belongings. It seems that there wasn’t much difference between Matthias and Justus. They both fit the qualifications and I imagine everyone respected both of them about equally. So casting lots seemed like the fairest possible way to choose between them, the one way they could be certain that God would be in charge of the selection and not humans. And Matthias won.

I’m not all that sure that being an apostle was such a great job. The apostles would be the most highly visible of the Christ followers and likely the first to be arrested or otherwise persecuted by the powers that be. The apostles would be the ones settling disagreements, dividing the food among the hungry poor, and taking on all the responsibility for leadership in the early days of the church. And they would do all these things without getting any real recognition or compensation at all. We never hear of Matthias again. In fact, we don’t hear much about most of the Twelve. Anyone know anything Bartholomew did after the resurrection? How about the other Judas? I don’t. We know about Peter and James and Thomas. We know about Paul, who wasn’t one of the Twelve. And we’ve heard of Stephen who was the first martyr, but was also not one of the Twelve. In fact, we’re not totally clear on who exactly all the Twelve were – the Gospels don’t even agree on the names.

So it seems that being one of the Twelve didn’t guarantee that you would be well known. It certainly wasn’t a job that paid well, or at all. There were a lot of responsibilities, but none of the kinds of rewards that we typically think of when we select leaders. It was, in fact, a lot like being an elder in our churches today. The elders lead in worship, praying and serving at the table yes, but that’s really the smallest part of their job. They are the spiritual leaders of the congregation. They visit the homebound and the hospitalized. They reach out to the folks who haven’t been around for a while. They are available to any of us when we are in need of prayer or guidance. And when I say any of us, I mean that very literally. Part of the job of the elder in a Disciples congregation is to be available to the professional ministers of the church for prayer, support and spiritual guidance. The elders of Disciples churches are the true leaders of the congregation, as were the Twelve. In many cases they also serve without recognition, as Matthias did.

Think about the people in your lifetime who have given you spiritual guidance. Think back on the people who taught you about the Good News, about God’s acceptance and forgiveness and unconditional love. Yes, hopefully we have learned some of this from the “professionals”, the acknowledged leaders and teachers, ministers and Sunday School teachers. But very often we learned the most from those unexpected, unrecognized, anonymous people in our lives. Very often we learn the most, not from sermons and lesson plans, not from books and conferences and retreats, but from just watching men and women quietly doing necessary work. The ones we all count on to set the tables for a pot luck and bring in cartons of food for the hungry and cook at the picnics and repair things that break. The ones who write the encouraging cards and prepare the coffee and welcome the visitors. None of these do this work for recognition. They do it because it needs to be done and they are able. They do it because it is a way they can serve God and God’s people.

Very often we learn the most from people who just take the time to be with us. A friend of mine still tells everyone about a woman from this congregation who, during fellowship time a couple of Super Bowl Sundays ago, took the time to teach her enough about football that she didn’t feel completely left out at a Super Bowl party later in the day. Did that woman teach her about beliefs or other church stuff? No. But she did teach her hospitality. She did teach her about reaching out to help another feel part of instead of left out. She did teach that it is better to be loved than important.

Consider Matthias again. He was part of the group who had wandered the land with Jesus, sleeping where ever, eating what ever, doing whatever they were asked to do. He would never become well known outside the group, but we know he was respected inside the group. We know that he was and is loved. I came upon a poem this week that I’d like to share with you, written by Erik Doughty (2009).
Matthias, patron saint of
tailors, carpenters, alcoholism, and Gary Indiana--
well, here's the day he gets chosen
to replace Judas the betrayer
and then there's no more
about Matthias, except mystery.

Meanwhile we eavesdrop on your prayer, Lord,
asking protection for your loved ones,
sending them out into the world;
they must have been confused at all this.

Not all of us are the big names
upon which you build your church;
some of us wonder if we're more Judas than not
and others feel like Matthias, fading into
the background. Even so,
Sew us together into one great piece;
One holy, whole home
for sinners and saints alike.

The story of Matthias’ selection to the Twelve doesn’t say, but I suspect he didn’t volunteer for the job. I suspect he was perfectly happy to serve in the background, to be anonymous in his service. Not all of us are the big names, indeed. Hardly any of us are, in fact. And yet each of us through our words and actions serves as an example to someone else’ understanding what it means to be Christian – and it is to be hoped that our example is the kind that attracts. Each of us is or can be that background worker, that Matthias in someone’s life, whose example leads another to better understand God’s love. Each of us is or can be, that one who helps lead another to believe that God loves and accepts each of us, just as we are.

The good news is that we don’t have to be important to be loved. We already have all the name recognition, title and position we need, for we are all God’s children, and God loves us just as we are.

Drawing a Blank

How strange it was this morning to look at my calendar and realize it had nothing on it. No appointments, no meetings, no planned phone calls. Nothing. There are no items on my To-Do list that are overdue, or that I need to catch up with. No one is using the church hall, so it's quiet in my office. Even the construction workers remodeling our education wing didn't show up today.

I can do anything I want to! I can study in preparation for Sunday's sermon, or write the prayers for the afternoon service. I can curl up on the couch in my office and read something from that stack of books waiting for my attention on The Pastor's Bookshelf (posted below). I can call people I really want to talk to but never seem to have time to call. I can blog or twitter or update the church website. I can write some "thinking of you" cards. My day is a tabula rasa, with so many possibilities.

So why did I spend over an hour drawing a blank? I just couldn't decide what to do first. I couldn't decide whether to do what is "most important" or what would bring joy to my heart. Then it came to me that while I really would like to do something that brings joy to my heart I always feel that I am not being "productive" unless I do something that is more easily quantifiable. You know, the kind of thing that sounds like "work" when people ask what I did today.

The fact that I writing this means I have opted for doing the joy-bringing creative things that I usually put off until all the other things are accomplished. Maybe later I'll do something "constructive" but for now I'll spend some time feeding my soul with study, contemplation and writing.

Preaching like Peter

Acts 10:44-48
44 While Peter was still speaking, the Holy Spirit fell upon all who heard the word. 45The circumcised believers who had come with Peter were astounded that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on the Gentiles, 46for they heard them speaking in tongues and extolling God. Then Peter said, 47‘Can anyone withhold the water for baptizing these people who have received the Holy Spirit just as we have?’ 48So he ordered them to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they invited him to stay for several days.

You know the line in “There is a balm in Gilead” where it says “If you cannot preach like Peter, if you cannot pray like Paul, you can tell the life of Jesus and say he died for all.”?

THIS is the preaching they’re talking about! This is every preachers dream! The Spirit broke in while Peter was preaching, poured out on even the Gentiles and they started speaking in tongues. Everyone was converted and convicted in the Spirit. Everyone in the household wanted to be baptized! So, what is it he said that had such a powerful effect?

Then Peter began to speak to them: ‘I truly understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him. You know the message he sent to the people of Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ—he is Lord of all. That message spread throughout Judea, beginning in Galilee after the baptism that John announced: how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power; how he went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him. We are witnesses to all that he did both in Judea and in Jerusalem. They put him to death by hanging him on a tree; but God raised him on the third day and allowed him to appear, not to all the people but to us who were chosen by God as witnesses, and who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. He commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that he is the one ordained by God as judge of the living and the dead. All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.’

This is it. This is the entire Gospel – all of the Good News. That God sent Jesus to preach peace, to do good and to heal those oppressed by evil. That Jesus died on the cross and God resurrected him so he could teach those closest to him, who were then sent out to preach that Jesus is judge of the living and the dead, and to testify to the forgiveness available to all who ask it in Jesus’ name.

There’s no complicated list of things people had to believe. No doctrine of the Trinity, no virgin birth, no creed, no statement of required beliefs, behaviors or actions necessary to receive God’s forgiveness. All of those things would become part of Christian belief hundreds of years in the future. In the early days of the church it was just this, that God sent Jesus to teach and to heal and to tell everyone about God’s love and willingness to forgive. The apostles and disciples preached this same thing over and over, in all kinds of places and situations. They began with the assumption that the people they were preaching to knew about God – the creator and sustainer of the universe who had chosen Abraham as his own many centuries before, and who had been guiding the descendents of Abraham through prophets and messengers ever since. The people of Cornelius’ household, although Gentiles, were believers who worshipped in the temple but had not yet been circumcised. Like the Ethiopian eunuch we heard about last Sunday, they weren't allowed all the way into the Temple, they weren’t fully accepted in the Assembly of God, but they did know about God, the Law and the Prophets.

Later Paul and some others would go out to preach among the Gentiles who had no prior knowledge of God, but that won’t happen for a little while yet. This event, the baptism of Cornelius and his household, would pave the way for Paul’s ministry.

Did you notice? Last week the Ethiopian eunuch listened to Philip preach the very same Good News and asked “What is to prevent me from being baptized?” This week Peter preaches the Good News, the listeners are filled with the Holy Spirit, and Peter asks “Can anyone withhold the water for baptizing these people who have received the Holy Spirit just as we have?” In these two events, separated by time and distance and with entirely different people involved the same thing happened.

So, what is it in this preaching that is so powerful that a houseful of people were filled with the Spirit. It was like Pentecost all over again – powerful preaching and conversion and amazement by those who were listening that God’s word was being spoken so that everyone could understand it. At Pentecost thousands were baptized. Here the number was smaller but what happened was the same. God’s word filled the hearts and souls of everyone who heard Peter speak.

To anyone who took classes in Homiletics (preaching) Peter’s sermon doesn’t sound like all that. For that matter, it probably doesn’t sound all that impressive to folks who have been listening to sermons for years. There are no examples, no stories, no moral instructions. Peter doesn’t tell any jokes suitable for church or pull illustrations from contemporary life. He doesn’t refer to a book or TV show or movie or the internet even once. He doesn’t tell the congregation how they should behave, or what they ought to feel guilty over. He doesn’t tell them what they need to do to make the world a better place, to bring God’s kingdom to earth as it is on heaven. He just talks about God’s power and God’s love. What’s up with that?

Sometimes we really need to just hear a simple message. What Cornelius and his household heard is this:

God loves you, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You don’t have to earn God’s love – you can’t earn God’s love. It’s already there, no matter who you are or what you’ve done, whether you believe that or not.

Forgiveness is waiting for you, all you have to do is ask. You don’t have to earn forgiveness – you can’t earn forgiveness. It is available to anyone and everyone who repents and asks to be forgiven.

And we don’t get to judge. We don’t get to judge other people. We don’t even get to judge ourselves. Jesus is the one and only person ordained to be the judge of the living and the dead.

Is it any wonder that Peter’s preaching was so effective? He didn’t depend on rhetoric to persuade his listeners. He didn’t have to. He just spoke the simple, basic truth of our faith. God loves us. God forgives us. God sent Jesus to teach us and heal us, and to show us the way to be faithful. And after his death on the cross, God resurrected Jesus into new life, just as we enter into new life when we give up our old ways.

I remember when I first heard those things. I remember when I began to believe that they were true. I remember how overwhelming it was to realize that God loves me – even me. That I was forgiven by God and because of that I needed to forgive myself for everything I felt guilty about, and forgive those who hurt me. If God forgives me, after all, who am I to withhold forgiveness? I remember when I began to believe that I am good enough just the way I am, because if I am good enough to be loved by God, who can judge me as anything less?

There are days when I forget the simple stuff – the basics of faith. There are days when preaching like Peter becomes really important because I let everything get all complicated. I forget to keep it simple and let the Spirit in. I let the business of the church take precedence over God’s business. I start giving more attention to theology – to the study of God – than I give to God. I start letting my education in pastoral counseling and preaching and church history and Bible and theology and hymnody and worship design get in the way of remembering to tell folks “God loves you. No matter what.”

God didn’t care that Cornelius and his household weren’t circumcised, that they hadn’t undergone all the rituals that would grant them full membership in the Temple. God filled them with the Holy Spirit, giving them full membership in the family of God in Christ.
And Peter said, “Can anyone withhold the water for baptizing these people who have received the Holy Spirit just as we have?” The answer, of course, was no. Cornelius and his household were baptized immediately.

Surely the presence of the Lord was in that place, and just as surely it is present whenever we pray and worship our God with simple faith in God’s forgiveness and God’s love. Let us go out from this place, remembering keep it simple in our faith and in our study of God’s Word so that there may always be room for the Spirit in our lives, in whatever place we may be.

A Pastor's Bookshelf

I don't know for sure about the bookshelves in other pastors' offices, but I have to admit that quite a few of the books I have purchased over the 6 years I have been serving as pastor here have never actually been read. It's embarrassing, but there it is. There are even some that I bought in seminary which I have not yet read. In case any of my professors should see this, I hasten to assure you that none of these are texts required for any of my classes.

No, these are all books that I purchased because they excited me when I saw them in the store. "Ooh. I want to learn about that! I need another book about . . . " prayer, evangelism, pastoral care, spirituality, preaching, relationship, Jesus, the Bible . . . the list goes on ad infinitum. Sometimes I buy a book because I know the author or I met him/her once at a conference. In many cases I opened them right after I bought them, read the introduction, scanned some sections with interesting titles, and set them down to read later. When the "to read later" pile next to the living room couch gets too tall, I move them either to a bookshelf in the house or a bookshelf in the Pastor's Study. Some I carry around in my laptop case for a while to remind myself I really really want to read them soon. Moving them to the Pastor's Study is pretty much the kiss of death. I have a few that I consistently go back to for reference, but most of them gather dust . . . sigh.

And Bibles - oh my. I think I have lost count, and I'm sure I have lost track. I have Recovery Bibles, a Green Bible, several Study Bibles, a Women's Bible, a multicultural Bible, a Kwanzaa edition Bible and I don't know what all else. I have NRSV, NIV, KJV, NKJV, Life Application, Message, CEV, Good News and JPS. I have Bibles on actual paper from pulpit sized down to one so small I keep a magnifier in it. I have Bibles on CD and MP3 to listen to and I even have 7 different translations of the Bible (some with apocrypha) downloaded to my iPhone. I have Bibles in English, Greek, Spanish and Korean, the last one in case a Korean speaking person comes to church and forgets his/her Bible. And if you are wondering, yes, I have actually used most of these in sermon prep and my own devotions.

Every now and then, though, I decide I really should see what one of those books says. And when that happens I am nearly always astounded at how much good stuff is in that book! I almost always say to myself, "Self, why didn't you read that years ago when you first bought it? You could have been using this information all along!" Right now I am trying to read three of Peter Gomes' books at the same time, because they are all fascinating. I've had them for what seems like ages, but they have just sat collecting dust on the Pastor's Bookshelf.

I suspect I am not the only one with a bunch of books that have never had the spine cracked. And I do know better than to say anything like, "I vow I am going to read every one of these books in the next year! I will select one every week and read it through." That might last a few weeks, but then life will get in the way. No, the best I will be able to do is just what I am doing now - grab one off the shelf whenever a title catches my eye and read while I'm eating my lunch. At least I can be assured that I won't run out of lunchtime reading material any time soon.

My new obsession

It's Twitter. I kept hearing about it, and then I noticed that DisciplesWorld and Christian Century and Songbird and other people I like were Twittering. So I signed up, and it's a whole new world! It's like texting to everyone at once, or blogging really short posts. But with the benefit that it doesn't matter if anyone answers my text, or comments on my blog. I know people are reading my stuff, no matter how trivial.

See, the thing about blogging is that I always feel like I have to write something substantial - an article, with some length and some meat to it. Somehow I feel that if I write a blog entry it should be a sermon or a meditation, or at least something spiritual. If I have just a sentence to share, it doesn't feel right to blog about it.

For instance, a few weeks ago while working out with my virtual trainer on wii Fit, keeping track of calories burned on an app in my iPhone, and keeping an eye on the robot vacuuming the bedroom, I realized that I'm really dependent on technology. I wanted to blog about it, but y'know, that's all I had. Seems to me that this kind of reflection is perfect for Twitter, but not so much for a blog. A blog should be a substantial meal, whereas Twitter is a 90 calorie snack pack.

And yes, I'm obsessing on food because I'm watching calories, cholesterol and carbs and because I quit smoking 4 days ago. Twittering is taking the place of the cigarette or the food substitution for the cigarette. It's helping me not smoke, and not eat. Justification of spending so much time checking MacBook and/or iPhone every few minutes? Certainly. Denial that I have a new addiction? Nah. I'm perfectly happy to admit that I'm powerless over Twittering, and that it could make my life unmanageable if I'm not careful. I'll just hope nobody starts a Twitters Anonymous anytime soon.

Friday Five - A bug's life

This week's Friday Five is a magical mystery tour through God's garden of creepy crawlies!

1. Ladybugs or ladybirds? Pillbugs or roly-polys? Jesus bugs or water skeeters? Any other interesting regional or familial name variations?
Ladybug, as in "Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home." I was blown away to learn that what we called Locusts where I grew up are called cicadas pretty much every where else, and that locusts are really big, bright colored grasshoppers.

2. Stomp on spiders, carry them outside, or peacefully co-exist?
It depends on the variety. Black widows die on sight. Housekeepers (Grove spiders?) can stay in the house as long as they stay out of my sight - it's just that they're so darn big! Most others I can co-exist with.

3. Favorite insect?
Crickets. They sing beautifully and they're considered to be good luck in some cultures. Besides, who doesn't love Jiminy?

4. Least favorite?
Anything buzzy-bitey like bees. I'm Allergic. But when I find one in the house I catch it in a glass or jar and take it outside. It's not the bee's fault I'm allergic.

5. Got any good bug stories to share?
I went to seminary in Indiana. Indiana Farmers had imported some South American ladybugs to help control whatever it is ladybugs eat, not realizing that this variety of ladybug hibernates in caves in the winter. There aren't a lot of caves in Indiana. But our apartment had 20 foot cathedral ceilings and ladybugs thought it was a cave. Ladybugs found their way in through the teeniest cracks and crevices until there were thousands attempting to hibernate on the ceiling. Over the next few weeks ladybugs were constantly dropping dead from the ceiling, landing in everything - coffee cups, dinner plates, hair . . . and no way to get rid of them or keep them out. I know it's not their fault, but today I can live without anything that has a ladybug design on it.

Bonus question: share a poem, song, quotation, etc. about insects.
When I was little, my mother used to always tuck the blankets tight around me, so I would be "as snug as a bug in a rug."

Kingdom Come Psalm 133, Acts 4:32-35

Scripture:
Psalm 133
How very good and pleasant it is
when kindred live together in unity!
It is like the precious oil on the head,
running down upon the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
running down over the collar of his robes.
It is like the dew of Hermon,
which falls on the mountains of Zion.
For there the Lord ordained his blessing,
life for evermore.

Acts 4:32-35
Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common. With great power the apostles gave their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold. They laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need.


How very good and pleasant it is indeed, when kindred live together in unity! It is like an extravagant pouring out of expensive oil in anointment, it is like the dew in the morning. No one is needy. Everyone is of one heart and soul. It is God’s Kingdom, come on earth as it is in heaven. When we are all working and caring together it is as if we have all the material gifts we could possibly want, because we are without fear for the present or the future or for our own personal wellbeing. In a world where God truly ruled, there would be no needy persons, because any who had more than enough would always share with those who had nothing. No one would be left out of the good things of life, no one would be treated as less than in any way. Just like it was in the early church.

If only the church today could be like that early church, where everyone was of one heart and soul, and everyone was willing to share everything they had with everybody else, and everyone trusted the leaders to share out everything fairly with no one being shown preference! That perfect state of affairs lasted for . . . about 5 minutes, I think.

For when we read just a few lines further we find that one man, Annanias, did not share all the proceeds from the sale of his land but lied about how much he received, and that he fell down dead after being caught in the lie. And then his wife, Sapphira also lied and also fell down dead. Struck down by Greed and Dishonesty.

And a little beyond that, the Greek speaking Christians complained that their widows were being neglected, and that the Hebrew speaking Christian widows were getting more than their fair share of the food being distributed by the apostles. And the apostles decided that they had more important things to do than the distribution of food and had seven others elected by the people to make sure food was distributed fairly.

How sad. People were people in the early church, too. With the same prejudices and failings and character defects as people have today. “Our folks aren’t getting as much of the good stuff as your folks are.” “I don’t want to share everything! I worked hard for what I have and I want to keep some of it.” “I am too important to do this work so we need someone else to do it.”

I suspect it wasn’t long before the apostles realized that, if everyone sold their houses and property there would be no where for the members to meet and eat and sleep. At any rate, from here on in the Acts of the Apostles and all through Paul’s letters we don’t hear any more about everyone sharing everything. Instead we hear about people, mostly women, who opened their homes to the church, housing the other widows and holding worship at their homes. We hear about congregations and individuals being asked to share generously of what they have, but no more about giving everything away.

Even Jesus only asked that when a man’s money was more important to him than his faith – he certainly accepted the hospitality and help of his followers who were well off, like Joseph of Arimethea. He said it was difficult for a rich man to enter heaven, not impossible.

We begin to see that the church leaders came to understand that people were imperfect, and that simply being baptized and deciding to change their lives didn’t mean that everything about them would change magically and immediately. That it would take hard work and dedication and deep faith to become the kind of people God intended for them to be.

That sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Being a Christian is much more than just showing up for worship and reading the Bible and singing Christian songs, just as being in recovery is much more than just not using and showing up at meetings. It requires a change of life-style and attitude. It requires a desire to become a better person every day in every way, not because the world says we should, but because we want to please God. To cast off character defects and embrace virtues, not perfectly, but to the best of our ability on any given day. To search our souls daily to see where we did well and where we could do better. So far, there’s not much difference between being a Christian and being in recovery, huh?

But being a Christian goes further than personal spirituality. Being a Christian means being part of a community and working through that community to change the world into the kingdom of God. The early church worked to change the world around them by sharing their funds so that they might care for the poor and the sick – and not just their own Christian poor and sick, but everyone who lived nearby no matter what their religion was. They worked to change the world by welcoming into the church all who came regardless of gender or class or economic status – and that indiscriminate welcome was unheard of in their world; it was against every cultural and religious norm. These things attracted many to them, for everyone could see that these were people who loved so extravagantly that their love was like expensive oil pouring down over the beard and collar, like dew on the mountains. Even though they couldn’t keep the church perfect for more than a few minutes, still, the example of what they strove toward is there for us to follow, so that we too might be people who love extravagantly.

People who love extravagantly will share generously and joyfully with those who have less than we do. Generously. Not just giving the things we don’t want for ourselves anymore, or a couple of dollars that we don’t have earmarked for something else, but the best of what we have. Joyfully, knowing that our gifts will help change the world in some small way. Here we become frustrated because the hungry keep showing up at our door, and we keep running out of food and money to buy food. Or we need to repair the building, or replace something that wore out, broke or disappeared, and we just don’t have enough money coming in to do what’s needed so we can keep serving the neighborhood. Or we see that more money and medical supplies are needed someplace because of a natural disaster or something, and our General Church is sending out the money as quickly as it comes in, but there simply isn’t enough coming in to care for everyone who needs our help. And it’s funny, but it often seems that those who can afford the least are the ones who give the most. In our extravagant love, we will share the best we have so that our neighbors will be loved and cared for as God would have it.

People who love extravagantly will reach out in love to everyone who suffers injustice. We will be dedicated to seeking equality for the outcaste and the rejected, as Jesus did. To making sure the poor and helpless are cared for. And each of us will find injustice in different places and find our own way to combat it. Some will fight racism, some will fight sexism or heterosexism. Some will fight for equality in education or health care. Some will fight for peace in a world filled with war. Some will fight for the improvement of our environment. Christians cannot say “you can’t fight city hall,” because Jesus and the apostles and all the early Christians opposed the established way of life with everything they did. As part of the World Council of Churches, and the National Council of Churches, and the California Council of Churches, we have access to many ways to help bring God’s justice into the world. In our extravagant love, we reach out to bring God’s justice and mercy into the world so that all persons may know God’s love.

As people who love extravagantly, we welcome all who come to this place to worship, to share in community, to find hope, to be healed of spiritual and emotional pain. We place no conditions on this welcome, just as there are no conditions placed on the love God pours out on us. We open our arms to all who come, to pour out extravagant love upon them, which we receive from God in such great quantities that we cannot possibly keep it to ourselves. This love is the one thing that we cannot keep for ourselves, for there is enough and more to share with all the world. Let us go out from this place today prepared to love extravagantly, to share God’s love with everyone we meet.

Is it possible to be too high tech?

A week or so ago as I was working out in my living room with my WiiFit virtual trainer and keeping track of calories burned on my iPhone while my iRobot was vacuuming the bedroom, I realized that I had become perhaps a little too comfortable with the new technologies.

Consider - my electronic calendar is set to alarm when it's time to prepare for an appointment or take medications. I have 7 different translations of the Bible with Acpocrypha at my fingertips, so I don't actually have to carry a "real" Bible any more. I can keep my journal and write my gratitude lists electronically, never having to pick up an actual pen or using one of the beautiful journals I keep buying for myself. I have even discovered that I can download entire books in any genre you care to name directly to my phone, so I never have to spend time browsing the aisles of Barnes and Noble again. Most of my friends and even some parishioners are easier to reach by text than phone or email. Of course, the danger with that, u c, is I tnd 2 rite in txt instd of "real" English.

I almost wish I had a Prayer Counter application like my Calorie Counter one. Instead of showing a red line when I go over my daily budget of calories, the line wouldn't turn green until I had spent at least 30 minutes in prayer, meditation or journalling.

But no. Prayer is still a communication between me and God with nothing in the way - no App Store, no webmaster, no "server isn't responding." It is a time away from all that, from all the noise and bells and whistles and bongs and chimes. I'm grateful that tomorrow I have to stop using all the electronics for an hour when it is my turn to pick up the Good Friday Prayer Vigil. That I will get to spend one hour in silent prayer, alone with myself and God, to contemplate the sorrow of those who witnessed the crucifixion and to remember God's grace that is so lovingly given in the resurrection of the Christ.

Holy Week already?

Clearly my pre-Christmas promise to self and others that I would be more faithful about blogging has not been kept. Here it is Holy Week already!

I miss the Holy Week observances of my youth. The daily trek to church for some observance or other, rosaries and walking the Stations of the Cross, confession . . all of that. In the Disciples tradition we don't do that so much. To make up for this we have turned Palm Sunday into Palm/Passion Sunday, and gallop through all the emotions of the week all in one hour. Some read the entire scripture and let it stand on its own, some have pageants or choir concerts.

Oh, here at Delhaven there is a Maundy Thursday supper, sometimes with Tennebrae, once with foot-washing (nobody wanted to let me wash their feet, so it turned into a hand-washing and was never repeated). And a Good Friday noon-midnite prayer vigil, which used to be in the sanctuary but now people keep at home.

And of course, the regular administrative stuff never ends. I spent an hour on the phone Monday with the phone company trying for the 6th month in a row to straighten out our bill. I'm planning for 2 weeks at once as I go on vacation immediately after the 2nd service on Easter.

So I pray - Holy One, help me to focus on you, on the journey to the cross that you son is making this week, and on where my own journey is taking me. May I approach my own cross as obediently and with as much grace as he did. Amen.

Where Have I Been?

I can't believe I haven't posted anything on this blog since August! Maybe it's because I stay so busy keeping the church website up to date, posting my sermons and adding new photos constantly. And maybe it's because I just have so much else to do that personal writing keeps taking a backseat. I'm not even showing up at RevGalBlogPals as often as I used to, not even on Saturdays for the 11th hour preacher party!

I would blame it on Christmas busy-ness, except I definitely wasn't working on Christmas stuff way back in August. And yet, here I am, wondering where I've been all these months. Oh, yeah, I've been starting a new congregation at my church - a recovery oriented congregation meeting on Saturdays. That is what's been taking up so much of my time. Silly me. And here I thought I wasn't spending much time with the new congregation.

I've made new friends in this new journey - transgendered folks and lots of people involved in the Anti-Prop 8 movement here in California. My new friends aren't coming to the new church as they are all already involved with one congregation or another, but they are encouraging me and helping me to know that nothing is impossible with God.

Time to get ready for this afternoon's Bible study. I hereby make a promise to myself and anyone who's been looking for me: I will at least cross-post my sermons, and try to post here at least once a week.

Blessings on all in this Christmas Season.

Labor Day Friday Five

RevGals provided these fun questions.

Here in the USA we are celebrating the last fling of the good ol' summertime. It is Labor Day weekend, and families are camping, playing in the park, swimming, grilling hotdogs in the backyard, visiting amusement parks and zoos and historical sites and outdoor concerts and whatever else they can find to help them extend summer's sun and play just a little bit longer.

It is supposed to also be a celebration of the working man and woman, the backbone of the American economy, the "salt-of-the-earth neices and nephews of Uncle Sam. With apologies to those in other countries, this is a Friday Five about LABOR. All can play. Put down that hammer, that spoon, that rolling pin, that rake, that pen, that commentary, that lexicon, and let's have some fun.

1. Tell us about the worst job you ever had.
I worked as a temp in a company that tested water quality. The people were nice but between the long chemical formulas I kept mis-spelling and the allergic reactions I had to some of the testing materials I didn't last very long.

2. Tell us about the best job you ever had.
The one I have now, of course. Pastor a small congregation. It can be crazy making but I love it.

3. Tell us what you would do if you could do absolutely anything (employment related) with no financial or other restrictions.
Go back to school, get PhD and teach preaching while serving a congregation that can't afford a pastor.

4. Did you get a break from labor this summer? If so, what was it and if not, what are you gonna do about it?
I took a week off and collapsed on the couch. Does that count?

5. What will change regarding your work as summer morphs into fall? Are you anticipating or dreading?
I'll get busier with a new weekly worship service on Saturdays, which means two sermons a week. I really look forward to it and as far as who can fill in for me on vacations and such, I'll just go all Scarlett O'hara and "worry about it tomorrow."

Where is that, exactly?

I was reading an article in Christian Century in which the author relates his experience of being attacked (there simply isn't any other word for it) by otherwise perfectly rational friends when he spoke of his faith. They asked what he really believed - is Christianity is the only true religion, was Mary a virgin, is Jesus present in the bread and cup? He had a hard time answering or maybe he just had a hard time giving them the answers they were expecting. It's hard to live in a place and time when "Everybody" believes all Christians are alike. They hear the TV preachers and they hear the folks who show up at their door and they hear the news about what "Christians" say on this issue or that one, and they believe that this is what ALL Christians agree on.

Where is it, exactly,where it says in the Bible that everyone will believe everything in exactly the same way? Acts and pretty much all of the epistles speak loudly to disagreements on theology and practice. Jesus spends his ministry arguing with Jews who don't believe the same things he believes about God and Torah and Messiah. If we have Biblical evidence that our predecessors didn't agree, why should we be expected to?

I understood when a Moslem friend asked me, in much pain, "Why do Christians act the way they do?" He'd been on a soccer team and when it moved from the park to a church yard, the priest said he couldn't be on the team anymore because he followed Islam and if he was on the team there would be religious arguments. (No, it doesn't make sense to me, either. He'd been on the team for years and all they argued about were fouls and goals, not Jesus and Mohammed.

Where does that, exactly, that Christians aren't allowed to socialize or play games with persons of other faiths? Or that we should reject folks based on their beliefs. How can we attract others to our faith if we reject them from our circle of friends?

And I keep hearing from my friends statements like "They need to go to counseling. They can't get the help they need from the church." Worse, I hear church members telling me "I'm not ready to come back to church yet after going through this hard time. No one seems to have even noticed that I'm not there."

Where is it, exactly, where the Bible says once you join the church you're on your own. It's as if folks say "We'll be happy to see you Sunday, but don't bother us with your problems. Maybe you could talk to the pastor - that's her job, not ours."

I keep looking for these instructions, but I can never find them. All I can find is love your neighbor as you love yourself. and They'll know you are Christians by the way you love each other. and God so loved all the world that he sent his only son.

Willing to Change Matthew 7:1-5

‘Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. 2For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. 3Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s* eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? 4Or how can you say to your neighbor,* “Let me take the speck out of your eye”, while the log is in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s* eye.

One of the things that frustrates me no end is the comparison I keep hearing between 12 Step Programs and Christianity, which rarely speak well of Christianity. I was at a workshop one time and the keynote speaker said that the most successful “religion” he knew of was Alcoholics Anonymous. He went on to say that, even though AA is specifically not a religious program, people who work the 12 steps are making an effort to change their lives, to become people who seek to do God’s will. Just last night I heard a woman share that the Christian recovery program she had been through taught them to avoid the use of alcohol and drugs and to pray, but didn’t teach them how to share their pain and let God heal their souls the way Narcotics Anonymous does.

Yet if we read our Bible we find that are continually given instructions for how to behave as God’s people. We see here in Matthew clear instructions to make changes in our lives. We are told to look at our own defects and remove them, which sounds suspiciously like Step 6: “We became entirely ready to have God remove our defects of character.”

First, of course, we have to recognize our defects. We have done that in Steps 4 and 5 when we made a moral inventory of our selves and shared it with God and another human being. Our faults and our virtues are all listed, and another person now knows us as well as we know ourselves.

Another way to recognize our own defects of character is to look closely at our judgments of other people. Over time I have learned that when I find myself judging someone else or disliking another person, more often than not I am finding fault with some part of that person that reminds of the things I don’t like about myself. That speck I can see in their eye helps me recognize and put a name to the log in my own.

Some years back I was complaining about a friend. It really bugged me that she was always trying to be in complete control of her family. It didn’t matter where she was, she’d yell at her husband unless he was doing things exactly as she wanted them done. He had the job she wanted him to have, wore the clothes she wanted him to wear, volunteered for the things she thought were important. The friend I complained to simply said “When I point a finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at me.” My immediate response was to say “No. I’m nothing like her!” But I’ve learned to listen to the suggestions that are made to me, even when I don’t agree. So I looked at my life and realized I was doing the same thing but more quietly. I had quietly suggested a job change to my husband so many times that he did change jobs – and was miserable in the new one. I learned about my own control issues simply from looking at someone else’s and had to become willing to make the change – to remove the log from my eye.

But recognizing the defects of character is only the beginning. Once we know what they are, we have to become willing to change. We could liken this to the process of buying a new car. We might think that the first thing we should do is to look in newspaper advertisements or visit dealerships or go online to find the car we want to buy. But in reality, the first thing we need to do is recognize that we need a new car. Then we have to become willing to give up our old car. That may not be so easy. We’re used to the old car. We know where everything is, we know how it behaves going up hills, the radio is set to our favorite stations and we’ve finally figured out how to change the clock for daylight savings time. But you know, it’s starting to break down. It may be using a lot of gasoline. It’s just not serving us as well as it used to.

So it is with our defects of character. They simply aren’t serving us as well as they used to. We are in the process of making changes in our lives, and the behaviors and attitudes that used to serve well are no longer appropriate to the people we want to be – people who put God’s will first in their lives. How do we know what’s not working?

First, we picture our lives as we believe God would want it to be. We can imagine ourselves filled with the fruit of the Spirit – filled with goodness, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

We can imagine what our lives will be like if we do not let go of our defects of character. At best we wouldn’t change at all – we would remain exactly as we are. We would never become better or happier or more at peace with the world around us.

We can think about the pain our character defects have caused ourselves and others. My desire for my husband to have a “better” job caused him to be miserable, until I apologized and told him I would be happy if he was happy, no matter what he earned or what hours he had to work. He went back to the old job and both our lives got better. The consequences of my control issues had made us both miserable, and I was quite willing to give it up. Perhaps we have become estranged from a family member or a friend because of pride or unforgiven resentments. Giving up the pride or the anger could heal the breach. At the least it would keep something similar from happening in the future.

We can ask God to help us become ready to change. We might not want to get rid of all the flaws in our character. We might be convinced that we are who we are and we’re too old or too set in our ways to ever change. But God can help us change this attitude. We only have to ask and then with God’s help, work at changing our ways. We can’t do it by ourselves. It would be wonderful to believe that we could just say “God, please change me,” and miraculously we would become different people. But it just doesn’t work that way. Jesus didn’t say “God will remove the plank in your eye.” He said, you remove it. God will help. But we have to do the work.

One of the flaws I really thought I wanted to have removed was my constant use of bad language. I used to sound a lot like that chef on the BBC program “Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares.” Probably every third word Ramsay speaks is bleeped. Where he is working, that language is not uncommon. And among the people I used to hang with my language wasn’t remarkable. But when my life changed and the people I spent my time with changed, I realized that it simply wasn’t appropriate any more. I started finding it offensive when other people constantly spoke that way. But at first I wasn’t willing to do anything about changing the way I talked. I thought it was enough to ask God to take it away. It took years and painstaking attention to the words I was using to make the change. When I use those words today it’s usually because I’ve lost control of myself – I’ve allowed myself to lash out in anger or frustration.

To remove that plank from our own eyes, we turn to God and ask for help in becoming willing to change. With God’s help we become ready to give up the attitudes and behaviors that separate us from God and from our brothers and sisters so that we might become the compassionate, loving persons God desires us to be.

Step by Step, let us learn to walk in God’s ways.

On the 2nd day she rested

What a week it was! I realize that today (Monday) is technically the 2nd day of the week, but the last 8 days have been so emotionally up and down, draining and exhilarating, that I feel as if I am resting even though I'm in the church office right now and have lots to do. But at least the stuff I have to do is regular church stuff . . .

Last Sunday we had Children! in church, and it was wonderful. The not so wonderful part is that on Tuesday the father of several of those children called to ask me a favor. He told me they had lost a child 10 days earlier. He was 4 months premature and lived on machines for just 2 days. The funeral was to be Thursday morning. He had just learned that the person scheduled to do the service had cancelled. Would I? Of course I would (while mentally disemboweling the person who cancelled! Who cancels on a baby's funeral????) We planned to meet on Wednesday to talk about the service. Wednesday evening the wife called from the emergency room - her husband and 3 sons all had food poisoning. Could they meet me after they were released? When the husband called later, I told him to go home and rest - everything would work out. I had spoken with the funeral director, knew where to go, and knew that only a graveside service was planned. As Disciples don't have anything like a Book of Common Prayer, I was busy thanking God for the Chalice Worship and the resources in it.

The morning of the funeral was a beautiful, sunny Southern California day with minimal smog as I drove through LA on my way to the cemetery. Everything went pretty well up to the end of the graveside service. Then . . . the hole was too small and had to be re-dug. The chains around the tiny casket and vault got stuck and had to be yanked out of the grave. When the front-end loader showed up to dump dirt into the grave, I walked away to be near the parents, who had walked away some few minutes earlier. How hard it is to be comforting to the family when what you really want to do is snatch up the funeral director and shake her until her teeth rattle!

Friday was entirely different. I was blessed by the opportunity to perform my first same-sex wedding. Two women who had been living together faithfully for 25 years were finally being joined together in the eyes of the state. I believe God had been blessing their relationship for a long time. There were some challenges with the wording of the service, and the standard Certificate of Christian Marriage I had in my desk had to be completely re-designed. Rainbow Pastor of Revgalblogpals was a great help there.

Then came Sunday. A wonderful celebration as my congregation burned our paid-off mortgage, preaching by our Regional Minister, a pot luck dinner that couldn't be beat, and LOTS of children! In the evening I had a speaking opportunity at a 12 step meeting.

Not surprising that I feel whupped. And blessed. I am blessed by the opportunity to be there for a family in pain, and by the opportunity to bless the union of 2 faithful Christian women. I am blessed by the words I heard preached, by the love of my congregation, and especially, by the work I have been called to do by a loving God. Where else could I get so many opportunities to share my love of God and my faith in the healing power of God's Word with others?

So today I "rest." And plan worship for Saturday and Sunday, and return a bunch of phone calls and and and . . wait to see what God will bring me this week.

There are Children Here!

My congregation has been pretty much children-free since the two families who had young children had to relocate for their jobs. We've had one young man, recently turned 5, as a regular congregant for the last year or so, but that's been about it.

Imagine my delight, then, when Sunday morning worship included 3 adults and 4 young boys who had just moved into the neighborhood! Imagine also my quickly scrambling brain figuring out where best to place a Children's Moment in the morning's service. Having decided that (after the anthem, before the sermon) I started thanking God for RevGalBlogPals Saturday 11th Hour Preaching Party, where a number of Children's Sermon ideas were posted for the very passage I was using.

When the time came I invited all the children big enough to walk to the front of the church under their own power to come join me on the steps. We talked about playing Hide and Seek, and how easy it is to hide successfully from the seeker - and how hard it is to find someone who doesn't want to be found. Then I asked "Where can you go to hide from God?" One of the boys said "You can't - God is everywhere, and always knows what we are doing." Another said "God always finds us so he can protect us."

Who needed a sermon after that? I preached anyway, but those two boys grasped the point perfectly. If only all Children's Moments could turn out so well.

I anticipate that the families will return. They did enjoy the service and the fellowship and one of my members went to them and offered to take the children and teach them in another room during worship, which really made the parents happy! I also anticipate that I will then become one of those preachers frantically seeking an idea for a Children's Sermon at the 11th Hour Preacher Party.

Where have I been?

I can't believe I haven't posted anything to my blog since May 3rd! I've updated the church website "religiously" every week. I've popped my head in at RevGalBlogPals on Saturdays for the Preacher Party. But I haven't kept up my blog. I've been busy doing other things.

I find that's the way my life goes. I'll start doing something really good for me and be diligent about it for a while. But then I get sidetracked by some other interest and whatever I was doing before just seems to fade away. The thing I don't understand is why it's always the things that are good for me that fade away? I'll journal for a few months, then stop. I'll read a daily meditation for a few months, then stop. I'll be positively obsessive about self-care for a little while, and then stop. Not just get a little less obsessive but stop altogether.

My relationship with God seems to follow the same pattern. I'll spend time in prayer and meditation daily, asking for guidance for the day for months on end. And then something happens to disrupt my schedule and suddenly I find that I haven't sat on the patio with God and the bunny rabbit in weeks or months - just kind of go feed the bunny and start doing something "important." And of course, when I'm not doing that, my life suffers. Tiny problems are magnified. My relationships with other people falter. All the other self-care stuff I want to be doing stops being done.

I feel a little like Jacob, who when awakening from his dream of the ladder, said in surprise "The Lord is present in this place and I didn't know it." Jacob was used to thinking of God as being in the place where his family was - where they prayed and made sacrifices. He may have even felt that when he ran away and left his family behind, he was also leaving God behind. The Lord is present in places other than my patio - but if I'm not spending time out there, I feel as if I'm not spending time with God.

Today I think I'll remember that the Lord is present wherever I am, and not just on my patio. And I think also, I'll go spend some time outside enjoying the bounteous beauty with which God blesses us daily.

Groping for God

Acts 17:22-31
22Then Paul stood in front of the Areopagus and said, “Athenians, I see how extremely religious you are in every way. 23For as I went through the city and looked carefully at the objects of your worship, I found among them an altar with the inscription, ‘To an unknown god.’ What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. 24The God who made the world and everything in it, he who is Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in shrines made by human hands, 25nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mortals life and breath and all things. 26From one ancestor he made all nations to inhabit the whole earth, and he allotted the times of their existence and the boundaries of the places where they would live, 27so that they would search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him—though indeed he is not far from each one of us. 28For ‘In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we too are his offspring.’

The Greeks worshipped many gods – some if them may seem familiar to us. There was a god in charge of drunkenness and serious partying. Gods who were known for lust and manipulating others into satisfying their sexual urges. Gods who were quick to anger and getting even. Gods who tricked people into doing things they normally wouldn’t do. Gods who insisted on being in control of everything and everyone around them. And if they weren’t properly worshipped they’d turn on even their most devoted followers. Paul saw how religious the Greeks were but he also saw that they had a yearning for something different, because in their temples there was always an altar to the unknown god. So he set out to teach them about that god they didn’t know.

Paul said that people were expected to grope for God, and that makes a lot of sense to me. Because this God that other people talked about – a loving, caring, forgiving God who actually wanted good things for me – was totally unknown to me! The first time I approached Step Two, my sponsor asked me write down what I believed about God right now and then to write down what I would like God to be. They were VERY different lists – the one I believed in was judgmental and hateful and punishing and unforgiving. I was less than a bug under his metaphysical foot. Even the loving God I hoped for then was a pale shadow of the God I have finally come to believe in.

You will have noticed that Paul said that the unknown god they yearned for didn’t live in temples. God wasn’t present in statues. God didn’t need the gifts people took to the temples to keep their gods from being angry with them. God didn’t need anything from us, because everything that exists came from God in the first place.

That’s all true. God isn’t here in this building – at least, not any more or less than everywhere else. For many who are newly coming to believe in a power greater than ourselves, we find God in each other. We look to the combined knowledge and experience of those who know more about God and about how to live to teach us and to lead us forward. Eventually we are able to find that unknown God, but we still rely on the others we know and trust to help us continue to grow, and to understand what God’s will for our lives might be. We rely on others who believe as we believe to strengthen and sustain our belief. We come to this place and other places like it to be with those people, and to study together the teachings found in scripture that can help us grow. Even to argue – in loving care, not in anger – with each other about what God said about how to love each other.

And once we do believe – really believe – in that God we’ve been told about, we can make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God’s care. We can begin to trust that we will find the guidance we need to go in the direction God desires for us.

It’s fairly easy to turn the big things over. The state of the world economy, the question of whether our economic impetus checks will actually be delivered to the right address – these are things we know we have no real control over. It’s easy to let God handle them.
But there are all those little things . . . math tests, family members, situations at work . . .

I don’t like to travel. I like to be other places, I just don’t like the getting there part.
I flew to Indiana this week, and while I was on the plane I wrote down some of my travel quirks. The more I wrote, the more I had to laugh at myself!

I don’t trust myself to pack properly or hang on to a boarding pass
Don’t trust the security people to guard my belongings when they’re out of sight
Don’t trust the baggage people to get my stuff on the right plane
Don’t trust the pilots to do what they’re trained to do
Don’t trust the mechanics to take care of the plane
It seems like I don’t trust God to take care me at all!

It’s one thing to make sure I have all my things taken care of, that I’ve taken the necessary steps to do whatever it is I have to do. It’s another thing altogether to worry myself into an anxiety attack about things I have no control over. That’s what God is for! One person I shared my anxieties with shared her fear of flying and said she just keeps telling herself “No matter what happens, I’ll be fine. God’s in charge.”

Paul reminds us that in God we live and move and have our being, for we are God’s dearly loved children. All we have to do is remember that! Making a decision, every day, to turn our will and our lives over to God’s care is how we remember it.